Gareth Ainsworth is back involved with Gillingham after several weeks away recovering from heart surgery.
The Gills boss is not quite ready for a return to the dugout, yet. But he has been back overseeing training and their preparations for games in League Two. He missed all four of their league fixtures in October.
“It is great to be back here,” he tells Sky Sports. “This is who I am and it is a special club. They have looked after me and really supported me through what was a very testing time for me, my family and the team. Things are getting slowly better day by day, but I am still not on the touchline yet, which is the final hurrah for me.
“I still have to do my management from the stands, but I am doing the pre-game talks, the half-time talks and many decisions from up there.
“I was involved in the strategies and the team selections to start games, but I let [my assistant Richard Dobson] and the staff do the rest on matchdays. I was a minute behind on the streams and it is really tough trying to make a substitution from 80 miles away.
“It is frustrating, but good to be back. What I think I am missing is the energy I project onto the pitch when I am next to the boys and they can see me heading and kicking every ball with them, but that will come.”
‘I am all fixed and have a great heart now’
Ainsworth was having a routine health check in September with the League Managers Assocation (LMA) when they discovered he had a heart murmur.
It was a fairly routine procedure, and the Gills boss says it was a resounding success. But he wants to raise awareness to ensure everyone who can to get regular checks.
“The great thing is I am all fixed and have a great heart now,” he says. “It was a valve issue and they managed to sort my own valve out, so there is nothing artificial. They said artery-wise and heart-wise everything is great, so I just need to let it heal. It is not every day you have a heart operation, so I have given it time.
“I do not think you can take that touchline energy out of me. The surgeon and the people at the Spire in Southampton were fantastic. They said they know I have a stressful job and that I get involved, and to just be careful and use common sense.
“I get out of breath now and again and I get a good amount of sleep. I want everyone to know how important those checks are. If anyone has a check coming up, go for it and listen to them. They have potentially saved my life. Something nasty could have happened. I thank everyone, the LMA, the club and the surgeons for getting me right again.
“I was pretty good with perspective anyway. I have been through a lot in life and in football. Football is the most important of the unimportant things. Health, family, friends and loved ones are everything.
“We get carried away and swept up in the tidal wave of emotion, results, performances and strategies. Sometimes it is great to sit back and ask if we are okay. I had so many messages from managers and fans. It was refreshing and it is nice to sit back and look at yourself.”
‘An emotional return to the stands’
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Highlights of the Sky Bet League Two game between Bristol Rovers and Gillingham.
Ainsworth was involved at Bristol Rovers last Saturday as Gillingham secured their first league win in six attempts. He was sat in the stands with the club’s technical staff.
“It was more emotional than watching on the sofa because you can feel it,” he says. “The fans picked me out in the gantry and started singing my name. Some of the players looked up and gave a fist pump because we were due a win and they knew where I was.
“I cannot help but get emotional. That is how I live my life and how I live my life on the touchline, which is probably why I need to stay off it for a while. This game has given me so much, but it has also given me some big operations and major scares. I would not change it for the world.
“The doctor is probably fed up with me asking the same three questions: can I go back in the gym, can I go back singing or can I get on the touchline. All three are a few weeks away and I am not sure which order they will come in.
“The band has taken a back seat, as it always does when I am in football management. We had a great year when I was out of work and played a lot of gigs, but they have taken even more of a back seat now because of the heart situation. Never say never though. We will be gigging again.
“Right now it is about getting a result on Saturday and then the next step is getting back on that touchline.”
